the way the world goes

2 months lapse since my last post, its not for lack of things to write that I havent blogged all this while. I have written so many posts up in my head while standing in the train, waiting to board a bus etc but have not got around to writing it. If you guessed as much, this post will be one of my usual rants again....

My voracious reading habit has given me very good language skills and general knowledge on a wide range of topics. A lot of times I find myself in conversations that are supposedly way beyond my education level, and yes, I manage to carry the conversation quite well.
I enjoy intellectually stimulating questions and I do my fair share of asking them as well.

But why do people take me for an idiot with the IQ of a millipede? The world's so funny...they can accept criminals back into society with wide open arms; yet they are prejudiced against people who arent highly paper qualified. Do the reasons behind the inability count at all?

Sad.

Monday Colors

Most people have Monday blues; I on the other hand turn all sorts of colors way before Monday comes. It starts on saturday afternoons when I start turning as purple as a brinjal, angry that Saturday has flown by so quickly. On Sunday mornings, I am usually a bit orange as my anger would have subdued a little and usually wanes off whilst I vegetate in front of the telly watching the morning cartoons and have my much needed morning cuppa.

My grey hours start after lunch. I go about moping around the house feeling rather dull and dreary and the pall of my face will slightly resemble a dusty grey teapot. Sunday evenings bring about an intense fervour of activity to salvage the rest of the weekend, at this time I am all red and in a state of constant motion. My bedtime gets extended till very late at night as I try to stretch the hours till the work week starts.

Its only on Monday that I finally turn blue.

A row of ducks

Public transportation is really frustrating these days. I spend around 15-20 minutes waiting for the feeder service in the mornings, waiting time used to be about 5-10 minutes before. And a huge

And when the bus decides to come, Lo Behold! they arrive like ducks in a row, three at a time. Buses arent meant to act like ducks...hmm...

People

I simply cannot fathom what goes on in someone's mind sometimes. Do they really think about repercussions before they speak?
The world is getting crazier by the moment, it just isn't sane anymore.

But do I let the crazy ones get to me, or do I strive on and plod my way through the relentless obstructions till I reach my destiny?

I need to scream now.

The Impish Patient

My father underwent cataract surgery on his left eye two days ago. If there is one thing that is true, he is being a mighty big pain in the butt for everyone.

He keeps on doing all that he is not supposed to do. He squeezes his eyes shut tightly many times on and off, claiming that the eye itches. Football keeps him glued to the telly screen, when he is not supposed to be even watching the tv. That head of his keeps moving almost 360 degrees all the time.

I have two solutions to stop him from doing all of this. First, take a long pole and hammer it onyo his back, neck and head, so that he cant move his upper torso. Second, is to take a big log and to hit him over the head with so that we get to hear less whining and it will also get him to remain still.

...

Ever wonder how some people walk through their lives treating everyone except themselves as if we mere plebians were born just to be of service to these 'beings'. They strut around, puffing their chests out, and expect their legion of plebians to do their bidding. And nope, not a thank you or a please interjected into their commands.

These people have no sense of humility and consider themselves placed just a wee notch below God, or perhaps even at par with God.

Respect for fellow mankind is the most simplest act. Alas, it is also a two-way process. It can only be earned through humbleness and care taken in the words we speak.

Change?

Someone said to me that I have changed recently....and for the worse. Wake up call for me I guess. I wasnt even aware that I am behaving weird these days. But one thing I know for sure is that from now on, I am going to make a concious effort to think before I speak or do things and to make sure it doesnt affect the people around me. If anyone of you has been offended by me in someway, knowingly or otherwise, I sincerely apologise.

Super Healthy

I just had the most healthiest of lunches today. Had a bowl of Chicken Stew which had mushrooms, carrots, celery, some unidentified vegetables and chicken (DUH! what did you expect in chicken stew?). This came with a small bread roll. To finish off I had a small bowl of cut pineapples (really sweet ones), strawberries and kiwi fruit.

Surprisingly I feel full and the fruit actually managed to satisfy my sweet tooth. Now if only I can keep this up at least every other day....that would be a start to getting more healthy.

I think its time to start taking some care with what I put in my mouth. All sorts of illnesses are popping up these days and I dont want to become part of the statistics any time soon.

Have to get back to work now. Ciao!

I miss holding hands

I feel his strong male fingers inter-twining between my own....his fingers move down, meeting the ring I wear on my right hand...he stops subtly....and gently caresses my ring like a seductive lover with the tip of his finger... his exploration of my hands travel further as his fingers encounter my palms..which are undoubtedly burning hot under his ministrations.....his thumbs slowly outline the lines of my palm, tracing the very fate lines that brought us together at this moment...his hand now moves down and matches my finger tips, his palm now encircling mine...how small my own hands feel within the cushion of his....his hands begin a warm languorous embrace with mine...spooning so closely with my fingers... slowly evoking and stirring desires in me that I have not known existed before...

No I am not trying to write por*n. Just feeling very lonesome and I miss the simple yet complex action of holding hands.... Sighs... Where for art thou romeo?

Moments

My days are filled with the chitter chatter of wonderful people who jest and simply make me laugh out loud with nary a care in the world. Their quick witted remarks fire my equally clever witted answers. I find myself being constantly around people, and I enjoy it.

Yet, there are times where I find myself alone, amidst all that chitter chatter. Deep inside, a dull ache surfaces and tugs at my heartstrings. Despite the beautiful companions I have found, there is a longing for someone who will delve deeper inside me, someone special to share my funny anecdotes with. Sometimes I find myself asking God when I will meet my mate. She doesnt really give me a reply, but then again, everything is done at Her own time, a time which She knows is best for me.

I still cant help feeling sad at times though. I turn into myself and shut myself inside my cocoon and ponder on how nice it would be to find that person. Its painfully sad when I go out shopping alone, and I realise that I am the only single person wandering around. Sighs.... The show must go on eh?

100th POST

YAY! I have finally reached my 100th post. It sure took a long time to reach here with my very laggy postings and all. But hey! Its all good.

Ok I know I promised to write about my new job. well, I am into 2nd week at this new place. What can I say, I'm Loving It. The colleagues and superiors are friendly and approachable. The organisation had a very cute way of extending their welcome to the staff. On the first day of work, they give out 'welcome boxes' which contain a list of important phone numbers, stationery, email information, a bookmark from the human resource that has my name and start date on it, a bottle of essence of chicken (to counter the lethargy of the first day at work i suppose) and a welcome letter. In whole its a very warm and fuzzy feeling.

Yes there are a lot of hurdles for me to overcome since I have never had the experience of working in such a huge organisation before. But it isnt as bad as I had expected. I did not sleep a wink the night before I started work, and I had a lot of butterflies in my tummy due to apprehension.

I dont really want to give the exact workplace details though...privacy issues and all you see. However, I can reveal that the post is that of a Junior Officer dealing with the youth sector of the organisation. Meetings can be literally a major pain in the butt though :P Alright, adios amigos. Thanks for all your good wishes. I shall get back to work now.

Have a great week!

Encounters of the Weird Kind

This was so damn embarassing. I actually met a quite prominent person in the lift at work today and I chatted her with her like she was a fellow employee. Didnt realise that she was a prominent person. Haiyo! Embarassing!

If you are wondering, yes, I have a new job now. More about it over the weekend. I practically feel like a zombie.

Shadows

Why do people assume things without knowing the reality? Why do they prefer not to trust my words, and instead they go about looking at me with a suspicious eye?

I dont have a boyfriend. Yet, each time I go out with my friends, my mother asks me which guy I went out with. I am 25 years old for God's sake. I dont pub/club and I come home by 10pm at night. Why is it so hard for them to just trust my words for once?

When I was young, I wasnt allowed to bring friends home and I wasnt allowed to go to their homes either; not even for a buddy's birthday party. I couldn't make or receive phone calls to my friends unless it was school related. I never went for a movie with any friends till I was 17 (after secondary school) and that too was done in secret for fear of getting scoldings from the parents. There were days when a few classmates used to go out to Mcdonald's after school to get sundaes, I was the one who had to go home the moment the school bell rang. It might be because of this that I do not have as many friends as I ought to have.

The number of times I went for a movie with the parents, I can count in one hand. 3 times exactly; Ferngully, Flintstones and some movie about a witch with a cauldron. We (my sis and I) lived the life of a recluse. Bedtime was strictly at 9pm sharp, no ifs and buts. When we got home from school, we had to automatically shower and rest a while before we had to do our homework and watch a little tv before dinner. After dinner, we could read or play computer games before we had to hit the bed. We weren't even allowed to run down to the store for sweets or ice-cream.

Yes, I didn't have any wants when I was young, in terms of material needs. But there was never a more pathetic existence. Even now, at this age, my every move is controlled by the parents. If I am on the telephone with a friend, everyone immediately assumes that I am whispering sweet-nothings to a boy friend. When I inform them that I am going out, they look at me suspiciously and ask me which guy I am roaming with.

Give me a break please! You should be happy that I am not getting high on drugs or sleeping around with a few guys. I am not doing anything illegal either. All I do is meet up with friends for a cup of coffee and a chat. Why is that so tough to digest?

I feel like screaming. Do they want me to go pick up some bum from the streets just to prove them right?

Pictures! Pictures!

PICTURES!!!!

This is my favourite part of the house...


Ganesha relaxing on Diwali Day! hehehehe


My attempt at macro shots

OKAY! more pics later...

Diwali! (late post)

Happy Diwali!!! Ooops my post is a few days too late due to all that Diwali cleaning and cooking and washing. My bones are still complaining after all that non-stop work. I have some pictures to share, but I have to run to the vet with the puppy now. Will be back!

Wrong Number

The home phone rang a while ago and I picked up...

Me: Hello
Unknown Bird-brained lady (UBL): Hallo
Me: Yes?
UBL: Hallo...er...What place is this?
Me: HUH?
UBL: I want to know what place is this.
Me: HUH? You called me and you are asking me what place this is?
UBL: Ya, I want to know what place is this.
Me: How did you get this number and who are you?
UBL: Er...Sorry I think I got the wrong number.

Weirdo-Mundo. Very weird people out there. But hahaha I have her telephone number on my caller ID. Shall I call her back and ask her 'What place is this?'.

Idiotic people

The previous post, in case any of you were wondering, is about my sister's husband. I have never come across such a manipulative and calculating person in my life. And to set the record straight, I have never been this furious in my life.
Just today, he brought his friend over for a meal without asking anyone if it was ok to do so. Yesterday was packed lunch for the friend, and today its bringing the friend home for a meal. My mom had her lunch at 3pm yesterday because she prepared the food and served my sister's husband and packed the food for his friend and then had lunch. Just because the friend is his business partner, none of us are obliged to entertain him or to do things for him. I am not being petty about food, but this shouldnt become a convenient habit.

And yes, I am literally seeing red because this is the friend with whom he set up the company with. There were many crappy excuses on why they couldnt employ me there, while the actual reason was because they simply did not think I was worth or smart enough to be employed in their high-tech, high-flying office. In what way am I less able or in what way did I fault him to give me that kind of shit.

So am I wrong in picking fights and feeling upset all the time? Why do I have to be nice and tolerate someone who does not bother about me at all? It is not something that is impossible for him to have done, knowing my situation. The hurt simply boils inside me and keeps burning me with anger. Each time I see his face, I just get so irritated at even the smallest things he does or says. He can actually comment that I am antisocial, but he doesnt know that I am just keeping my mouth shut because I do not want to scream at him. But sadly, I am really disgusted at people's attitudes.

There is really no meaning in relatives etc. It is all a lie. Once their work is done, you are cast off like a pair of worn boots. Every person has to stand up for his or her own and look after their affairs first. Because at the end of the day, its those closest to you who like to mock you when you are at your lowest.

leech

There are some people who are born in this world just to be of inconvenience to others. They sweet talk and bribe with small and OH so very sweet gestures, but at the back, their minds work overtime to see how and where they can take advantage in double. When one is so educated and supposedly in a higher level than all the rest of us lowly plebians, isnt it common sense that a person with health problems needs rest? Is it nice to take advantage and ride on a person's welcome and pretend like its a right owed to him? And yet, the so-called smartie cannot offer help to one who is in dire need when he can easily do so if he really is concerned as he claims.

You are so fake and yet you walk around all high and mighty. No one owes you anything. What have you done in return for all that they have done for you?

You earn much much more than 75% of the country, cant you afford to foot your own bills for your own expenditures and for your own life? When someone gives it to you, and you know that the person is not well to do and old, cant you open your mouth and say NO? And yet you have abused and hurt the person numerous times over petty things and called names that hurt. Doesnt it ever gnaw on your conscience? That person does so many things for your wellbeing and is so concerned about you and wishes to see you succeed, but have you ever inquired about that person's health? It is always about you you and you.
Even if you cant be of help, you shouldnt be a pain. But sadly you have not even an ounce of gratitude. You act nice now but when your vicious plans dont work, you will start hurling rocks.
A person who lives of others, is in essence no better than a blood sucking leech.

Where Do I Run?

Where do I run to? Nothing is working out. No one seems to give a damn, but they wont leave me alone either. All I hear is that I am never good enough.

I am never smart enough to get a proper job; Never pretty enough to get a boyfriend; Never enthusiastic enough about life; Never dressed well enough to not look like a fat slob all the time; Never good enough for anything else than to sit in front of the computer; Never motivated enough to do more than what is asked of me; Never friendly enough to make friends and acquaintances; Never good enough to do anything worth!

Where do I run to get away from myself?
HOW DO I GET AWAY FROM MY FUCKING USELESS LIFE?

Why

Why

At this moment I seem to have a lot of 'WHYS' in my life. It has begun to eat me up from the inside and now there is a gnawing uncertainty playing constantly at the back of my mind.

Whatever activity I happen to be doing, I cant seem to be able to stop this background worrying. If only there was a switch to turn it off and on. Sighs...

Well, I have not been blogging due to the fact that has become stagnated and there is nothing worth writing about. I could go on about dull and mundane things like how the IMF must have cost a bomb because I am seeing flowers all over Suntec and Orchard or I could crib on how hot the weather has become that I might melt into a puddle of human on the sidewalk someday soon.... BUT I am not going to blog about all that.

From my reading of other blogs, I at least see other bloggers' lives' moving forward, or at the very least moving backwards. Mine seems to have gotten stuck with superglue.

OK...Sorry about this absolutely nonsense entry. I am officially insane and in the drain.

If reading my entry causes your grey matter to erode and leak from your orifices, please do not blame me. GAH.

Now, ask yourself, WHY you read my blog today.....