Why do people assume things without knowing the reality? Why do they prefer not to trust my words, and instead they go about looking at me with a suspicious eye?
I dont have a boyfriend. Yet, each time I go out with my friends, my mother asks me which guy I went out with. I am 25 years old for God's sake. I dont pub/club and I come home by 10pm at night. Why is it so hard for them to just trust my words for once?
When I was young, I wasnt allowed to bring friends home and I wasnt allowed to go to their homes either; not even for a buddy's birthday party. I couldn't make or receive phone calls to my friends unless it was school related. I never went for a movie with any friends till I was 17 (after secondary school) and that too was done in secret for fear of getting scoldings from the parents. There were days when a few classmates used to go out to Mcdonald's after school to get sundaes, I was the one who had to go home the moment the school bell rang. It might be because of this that I do not have as many friends as I ought to have.
The number of times I went for a movie with the parents, I can count in one hand. 3 times exactly; Ferngully, Flintstones and some movie about a witch with a cauldron. We (my sis and I) lived the life of a recluse. Bedtime was strictly at 9pm sharp, no ifs and buts. When we got home from school, we had to automatically shower and rest a while before we had to do our homework and watch a little tv before dinner. After dinner, we could read or play computer games before we had to hit the bed. We weren't even allowed to run down to the store for sweets or ice-cream.
Yes, I didn't have any wants when I was young, in terms of material needs. But there was never a more pathetic existence. Even now, at this age, my every move is controlled by the parents. If I am on the telephone with a friend, everyone immediately assumes that I am whispering sweet-nothings to a boy friend. When I inform them that I am going out, they look at me suspiciously and ask me which guy I am roaming with.
Give me a break please! You should be happy that I am not getting high on drugs or sleeping around with a few guys. I am not doing anything illegal either. All I do is meet up with friends for a cup of coffee and a chat. Why is that so tough to digest?
I feel like screaming. Do they want me to go pick up some bum from the streets just to prove them right?
skip to main |
skip to sidebar
And now, back to your regular programs...
2 comments:
Hey..Rathi,
At least you've got tv to watch.. and computer games to play with. Us. .we were in bed by 7pm.. and that's it.. full-stop. No story books.. no nothing. .no treats. .no nothing. And also no money to go to Mcdonald's for sundae. How many times we went for a movie with my parents..?? NONE.!! N.O. .. not once..!!
At least you got to chat on the telephone..! you know what my mom did.. ??? my mom hid the phone. .and the wires.. and everything.. from me.. so that i CAN'T use the phone. And if i happened to use it. .when the phone is out.. she would be screaming her lungs out.. saying that she was waiting for a call from my GrandAunt.. whom we all knows never calls.
TVs at home.. were only for watching HER shows.. and after her shows.. tv gotta be off.. even if we have the tv on. and the volume turned off.. she would still be up screaming at us.. and reprimand us for being wicked.. and disturbing her sleep.
At 16 my mom wanted to marry me off to her childhood friend's son.. !!!!
As an adult.. if we came home later than 11pm.. we were locked out.. YES.. locked out..! we had to sleep on the staircase.. till the next morning. Whatever I made.. i have to give half of it.. to my mother.. else.. she would be cursing me.. till thy kingdom come. Or she would threatened to rent my room out.. that i share with my younger brother. I cannot shower.. early in the morning.. when i go to work.. and i cannot shower at nite.. when i come home.. because it would wake her up. So i have to do my showering at work. My mother guilt me into buying her a washing machine with a dryer.. when i was 20 yrs old.. working p/time as a banquet waitress.. and she never used the washing machine at all... because she said. .it spoils her clothes. My mother never wanna listen to me having a bad day.. if i had one.. it was my fault. If i didn't listen to her instructions.. she calls my boss up.. and tell my boss what a whore i was.. and all the bad things about me. .that are lies. I can go on and on. .Rathi.. if you would like to hear.
Dear Rathi,
I wrote .. what i wrote.. because i want you to know.. that you deserve a better life too.. like i do.. and you can make it.. too. .like i did. My in-laws are great to me.. they treat me so good.. i cannot thank God enough every single day.
I know you are hurt.. but i've gone thru' worst.. you just donch know what i've gone thru' Rathi..! if you knew.. you would not feel hurt anymore. My mom made everyone believe that i was "BAD" .. she used all kinda vulgar words.. you can find in the chinese vocabulary on me.. even though i did nothing at all.. NOTHING. If i slept in.. she called me the worst names i've ever heard. If i answered her or retaliate by words.. i get smacked right across my face. at 25 yrs old.. my mom was still using the cane on me .. !!! There was alot more.. Rathi.
But like i said.. you are above this.. and it's not as bad as you think you are going thru'.
I got outta the dungeon.. way, way earlier.. before i met Papa BoK.. and you can do it too.. on your own terms. You are stronger than you think you are.
Post a Comment