Letting go

Life is merely an Illusion.
Nothing we have in this world is brought by us,
Nor are we going to take anything with us when we leave this world.

Relationships come in between, but it is not permanant.
Yet why does it hurt so much when someone goes away?
Why the craving to hold something that is like air and cannot be controlled?

Can I let go? The teardrops I shed at night while sleep deludes me, the memories some place holds of the fun times we had, when I see a cuddly bear in the store that I know the other person will like, when my heart tugs at me upon hearing a song that the cherished one likes...thats when my resolve falters.

Time does not lessen hurt. It becomes a constant painful reminder of that missing piece of puzzle in one's life. Of how things would have been IF they were with me. But it is not to be....and yet, I cannot let go.

Warrior of Light

every warrior of light has felt afraid of going into battle.
every warrior of light has trodden a path that was not his.
every warrior of light has suffered for the most trivial of reasons.
every warrior of light has, at least one, believed that he was not a warrior of light.
every warrior of light has said 'yes' when he wanted to say 'no'.
every warrior of light has hurt someone he loved.
that is why he is a warrior of light,
because he has been through all this and yet has never lost hope of being better than he is.

-Paulo Coelho

*being inspired by 'Music'. Thanks so much gal. I am so in love with his works now.

Working on Sick Leave

Remember that cough I told you about, tyes, well, it ended up with me having 2 days of MC for it. Diagnosis: Respiratory Tract Infection, its just a fancy name for a nasty cough that sounds like the piling work they do at construction sites.
The doctor plyed me with 2 kinds of antibiotics, cough mixture and insisted i go home and sleep it off.
I took all of the medicines and came right back to work. Thats how it is. 'They' dont get happy even when I am genuinely sick and cant come to work. It is not like I adore falling sick that I go get myself sick on purpose.
My immunity is down I suppose from all the stress and lack of sleep. Getting wet in the crazy rain is not helping much either.

Anyways, I hope the cough goes away soon because when you start coughing on the trains/buses etc, people start looking at you like you have some funky disease. And also, I want to enjoy the holidays without having to be sick.

Quick post

*waves* hallO!!! Sorry for the long silence. I didnt die or something, but I seriously lack inspiration to write. But, here is a quickie post for me to pen a few things....

- WE BOUGHT A FLAT!!! All along, we have been living in tiny 4-room flats, but recently decided to buy a 5-room flat! And the previous owners have done it up very nicely with a lot of dark wood fittings. I am soo excited that I can hardly keep myself from talking about it to everyone and anyone who would listen. We have to start packing this house up and that is something I am dreading....BUT, I am still very much excited about the prospect of a bigger flat...
Pictures will follow soon...I promise.

- I am on my third cup of iced coffee for the day and yet my eyes can hardly open. I just cannot wait for the long holiday weekend. Need sleep desperately.

- I started job hunting again. Its a tedious long process with a lot of downhills. But, this job I have now is not very stable right now...SighZ....

- Did i mention I was extremely sleepy? I nearly fell asleep at the meeting

- I have a bad chesty cough now and I am keeping my fingers crossed that it doesnt blow up into a full fledged cold.

Thats about it....

Brands

Sony took over Konica Minolta...P & G took over Gillette......see the pattern here?

One day when we wake up, the whole world is going to be made up of just one brand name.

"BRAND" takes over EARTh!!! Whahahaha *insert evIL laughter here*

School

I was scrolling through a few private schools on the web because I am tired of sitting on my butt and waiting for the right opportunity for me to continue my studies.

The one thing that I am a bit apprehensive about is that it costs an awful lot of money. Something which is over my limits. So now I really dont know. I dont want to commit myself to a course and then drop out of it halfway due to lack of funds.

This is just mighty frustrating. I want to study!

Narnia in review

Anyone watched Narnia yet? (I wont mention names but one goondu who was supposed to see this movie with me, saw it with someone else instead! "GOONDU you know who you are! GRRR")

I read this book when I was very young, I think around 7 yrs of age. (Yes, I do read a lot). The movie actually refreshed my memories of me huddling under the blankets with a torchlight, reading this book and trying to be as quiet as possible so that I do not wake everyone in the house. My parents had a strict bed time policy you see.

This movie far surpassed my expectations. The picturisation was wonderful. The only flak I found was that the lion, Aslan could have been portrayed with a more regal look. He just looked like a sad goat in a lion's disguise. Other than that, it was a very captivating and enchanting journey into the wardrobe.

Go watch!!! I cant wait for the rest of the Narnia movies.

Want to be Free

A lot of things are happening with my life. I just feel like packing my essentials and setting off on a backpacking trip. At each country I stop, I will work for money for my board and travel money and then move on. Along the way, there will be some charity work that I do.

Somehow, this idea greatly appeals to me. I do not like being tied down here and have no hold on my life. I need a sense of purpose desperately. Bored of life, work, people... My craving for change is growing stronger each day.

I guess I am just too disappointed with myself and a lot of things that makes me simply want to run away. The more I deny my urge to spread my wings a fly, the more frustrated I get. These days, I simply feel nothing. I am nothing.

LET'S pRAY

There is a worrying trend of converts being more fanatical than others. I just do not understand this whole issue. The most irritating thing is when people who convert, start condemning their renounced religion and start criticising family practices etc.

No one knows or has ever seen God. All the religions that we have today ultimately point to a single higher power who dictates our lives.It is just that the paths we choose to reach that higher power are different.

God and religion is necessary to enrich a person's live. But when your whole live is just revolving around your religion, so much so that you hurt others with your words and actions, then you are not fit to call yourself a devotee. If you sit and spend your day criticising other religions, then you are not spending that time in learning what your chosen religion has to offer.

At uncertain times like now with all the terrorism, the most important thing is unity among everyone. When religion comes in to divide people, that is when we start falling and failing.

Let's pray.

Confused Clock

I have a confession to make here. Now dont laugh at me, you all hear?

Ok here goes, I cannot tell the time on a clock that has no numbers. I said dont laugh!

Argh! But its true. I need either a digital clock/watch or one which has all the numbers. on it. If there are no numbers, I just squint and stare hard at the watch. And more often than not, I end up flipping my handphone open to get the time.

I know its silly, but I have a few watches that have really funky faces and no numbers. So why do I use a watch I cant tell time with? Well, I dont know the reason why, I just try to make myself look smart :P

Of Dogs and Nice

It is just past 12 am. The New Year has gone in a flash, and the second day has already begun. I wonder what I am going to achieve this year. The past year was filled with apprehension, new job, anxiety regarding my parents' health and a lot of worry. The only thing that remains the same each year is hope. Everyone of us hope that the year will be a fantabulous one, better than the previous year.
So, to everyone who reads this blog, Have a Great New Year filled with a lot of love, joy, laughter and hope. Cheers~

On a totally different note, my aunt has stayed over at our place for the past two nights. She is afraid of the puppy and keeps 'barking' at the puppy with commands like 'stop', ' no, sit!' , 'keep quiet' etc. After some time, the puppy actually began keeping away from her probably because my aunt's barking became nerve grinding.

I just don't understand something. She knows that there is a puppy here. If she doesnt like, why did she come and stay. Truthfully, I dont like my aunt (she is my father's sister). She has that high and mighty air about her which I loathe. Everyone else is basically beneath her (all my paternal relatives have this attitude), including dogs. Why cant some people just be nice for once? Maybe that should be her resolution for the year...